Xiris' Creative Centre

Oct 11

It’s Not Just Sexuality: National Coming Out Day

It is National Coming Out Day. Although you usually think about coming out as one revealing their sexuality or gender identity, there are many other things that you can ‘come out’ with. We all have secrets and things we hide that are a part of us, but me may not let others see. I have debated long and hard about ‘coming out’ with these things, but I think it is the best for me to in the process of healing:

I’m coming out as someone who was in an abusive relationship. Two years ago I was in an abusive relationship where the abuse wasn’t physical, but psychological and emotional. This partner destroyed my self worth, mental health, and left me a mess. It isn’t until about 9 months ago, a year and a half after the breakup, where I finally accepted that it was abusive.

I’m also coming out as someone who struggles with self-harm and depression. As far as I can remember I suffered depression and anxiety and it crippled my for years. Sophomore year in high school I started to self-harm by cutting myself in order to cope. I have been ‘clean’ for 8 months, but I still struggle with urges every day and always will. 

Remember, there are many things you can come out with. Many different parts to people. Many kinds of things that can effect people. And some people hide many things.

Don’t ever assume you know everything about something or judge them on only what you see. There is always more than 
what people show on the surface.

~Xiris

Oct 04

Logo Design Sheet. 2014.

A logo design sheet I did for my Intro to Computer Graphics class. We needed to make 25 logos with our initials. Some I really like, some I want to burn and never see again.

Apr 14
Cinderella Poster. 2014. 
A poster I made for a recent production of Cinderella where the group added a steampunk twist to it. First poster I’ve made and I’m proud of it. 

Cinderella Poster. 2014. 

A poster I made for a recent production of Cinderella where the group added a steampunk twist to it. First poster I’ve made and I’m proud of it. 

Sep 12

Some Trans Really Get on my Nerves

Risqué title is risqué to get your attention.

I will start this off with I am transgender myself, so, no, I am not being transphobic. No, I am not talking about the group as a whole. I am going to be talking about some individuals within the transgender community. 

What really pisses me off beyond belief is transgender people who spout hatred towards and discriminate against cisgender (identifying as the sex you were born with) people. I have seen people make ‘trans only’ rooms. Some trans people just talk about how they hate cisgender people and how they won’t be friends with them or anything.

At FurAffinity United this year I ran a panel on gender and someone asked me if I was allowing non-trans people to come to it. Hmmm, let me think. Of course I am you twat. Just because you hate and chose to discriminate against cisgender people doesn’t mean the rest of the trans community.

Some of these people see their acting that was as them fighting a crusade for trans equality and breaking boundaries. Fighting back. Let me tell you something, you are being a royal douche canoe and giving the community a bad name. You are reversing the fight and giving people a ‘reason’ to dislike tans people. You are acting no different than someone who is transphobic or homophobic, you are no better than them. 

This does not just go for the trans community, it goes for some feminists, some activists in the LGB community, any minority or group fighting. If you act like dicks no one will like you. 

On a related story, a trans person said I should be offended that since presenting as female I have been treated differently with more chivalry. Fuck you, it’s people being courteous and polite not trying to tell me I’m less than them. I saw a woman yell at a man for holding the door for her. Really? I was brought up to hold the door for people behind you. 

Well, overall, don’t be a dickwad.

Rant over.

Jun 01
Silently Patriotic. 2009. Scan of RC Black & White Photographic Film Print.

Silently Patriotic. 2009. Scan of RC Black & White Photographic Film Print.

May 14

What You Call Drama…

RANT ALERT! 

 

This is just a little rant I wrote back in 2011 that I still think is kinda relevant in society.

 

Drama: n.  a state, situation, or series of events   involving interesting or intense conflict of force.


“Drama” “Watch out for the drama” “Beware of the drama” “The internet is full of drama” “Drama, it’s what teens do best” 

The internet and Drama. They seem to go together like peanut butter and jelly, Romeo and Juliet, or the cat and the mouse. It is all you hear in the teenage world “drama”. Relationship drama, friends drama, depression drama… and so on and so forth….. but really what is this drama? Is it a call for attention? Is it a plea for help? or Is it a pissed off person trying to get their way? Truly I think it is a combination of all of the above.

People need to learn to look into drama more. Sure it could be that bitchy 13 year old girl, or that dude who lives in his moms basement, but it could also be that depressed girl, a girl reaching out to fellow people for help in her final attempt to be pulled from depression before she takes those pills. That is what we need to look for.

We cannot just dismiss every last complaint and bitchy post as useless drama. It is not all drama and antics. I speak this from experience. I post about something that is wrong with me, or in a group about depression I talk about my depression (shocker!) and what do people do? Of course they do not respond and attempt to help, they accuse of making drama and just wanting attention. 

 I’m sorry, I did not realize that reaching out for help from my fellow “community” is now drama and grounds for someone to be called an “attention whore” I thought that we were here to support others.    

Please, don’t take this as some rant about my own personal experience. I am also talking from things I have seen. Legitimate cry’s for help from people who just get yelled at for causing “drama” being an “attention whore” or “wasting space”. I have seen people drop out of the online communitys because of the mean things people say about their “drama”.

 I’m not saying that people should go to every post and deeply analize it and consider if it is a cry for help. I just am saying that people should pay attention and refrain from being a douche canoe.

Overall, if you get anything from this, or even feel like remembering something from this. Just know that people have reasons for posting things. If people seem like they are complaining don’t just dismiss it, something might be wrong.

Pretty much, pull your head out of your ass and think for once before putting someone’s post down or insulting someone. There is a person behind those words.

Xiris

May 10
Jump. 2013. Digital Photographs.

Jump. 2013. Digital Photographs.

May 03
"Lunch Days Gone By" B&W Version. 2013. Digital Photograph. 

"Lunch Days Gone By" B&W Version. 2013. Digital Photograph. 

Apr 30

All Hope Lost (series). 2010. RC Black and White Photo Paper.

This is a series from back in high school where I used various alternative printing techniques in the darkroom. It expresses the feelings and emotions of a depressed individual. 

Apr 26
Just A Drop. 2013. Digital Photograph.
The teeth in the glass are actually mine. I got them removed only about a week before shooting this. If you look close you can see some of the gum fibers on it. The red staining of the tooth is from previous trials with the red coloring. 

Just A Drop. 2013. Digital Photograph.

The teeth in the glass are actually mine. I got them removed only about a week before shooting this. If you look close you can see some of the gum fibers on it. The red staining of the tooth is from previous trials with the red coloring.